Wednesday 14 May 1986

…Watched the film Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan…

I’m rather surprised a) that this was on television in the middle of the week and b) that I was allowed to watch it. Perhaps I’m misremembering and I watched it somewhere else; my diary is typically unclear on this point. I also fail to record what I thought of the film.

It was the first feature-length dose of Trek to which I’d ever subject myself. I was sufficiently entertained, or perhaps bemused, to go on to buy a primitive audio adaptation of the film. It comprised a wafer-thin novelisation and a cassette, the former intended to be read along with the latter.

As with all of these kinds of juvenile talking books, there was a sound on the tape to tell stupid people when to turn over to the next page. I think it was either the beep-crackle of a communicator or the tinkly-whoosh of a transporter.

I now realise that the publishers of this audio monstrosity missed a trick by not using this earthy ejaculation for the page-turning sound instead.

2 thoughts on “Wednesday 14 May 1986

  1. This must have been when I saw it for the first time, aged nine. I was terrified by the bug they put in Chekhov’s ear. It still makes me squirm today.

  2. You probably bought one of the Rainbow book and tapes. I had loads of these between 1985-87 as they adapted pretty much every major movie and escapist TV show of the period. The Star Wars and Indiana Jones adaptations had the genuine music soundtracks, but Ghostbusters, The Living Daylights and all of the TV shows they adapted (including the A-Team, V, Street Hawk and Airwolf) didn’t.
    The page turning noises were either a beeping sound or chimes, but the Indiana Jones ones were heralded by a bullwhip cracking while Star Wars’s came from R2-D2 making a chirrup which I have in my head as I type this.
    Any other observations: Well, Bruce Boa played Mr T and BA Baracus, the narrator for the A-Team books popped up in some long forgotten movie I saw at the time I was buying these things, Geoff Cohen (Chunk) narrated The Goonies adaptation in character (and poor Stef was even given a single line), while the debates over the definitive Bond should include a new sub-topic: was Martin Jarvis a better Bond in The Living Daylights than Timothy Dalton? He certainly delivered the line “You didn’t think I’d miss this performance, did you?” with more lasciviousness than Dalton managed.
    As for the nadir, an adaptation of First Blood: Part II. What the hell were they thinking?

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