…Twas the night before Christmas
and in the past day,
Lots of things happened
and I’ve had to pay.
Finished my shopping
with no money left;
And now I can’t think of
any more rhymes.

Yes, that old cop-out. Oh dear. I couldn’t even stretch to “bereft” or, perhaps more challengingly, “cleft”.

But it was Christmas Eve, I’d watched – among other things – a repeat of The Box of Delights and the Two Ronnies, and I couldn’t be bothered. I’d bought my sister a cuddly dog, my mum a vase and my dad a map. “They were all cheap.” My work here was done.