Monday 5 January 1987

…Just another 32 days, one month and thousands of hours
till my birthday.
Today we faced the chains and thumbscrews as we returned
to school after the Christmas break.
We had to write a story about a new year’s resolution…
…For lunch it rained.
But we managed to eat cheese pie, chips and baked beans
with milkshake to follow.
This afternoon we had Mrs Kirkham.
She told us the story of The Shrinking of Treehorn and
we had to write a sequel to it…
…This evening a new series of The Growing Pains of Adrian Mole…

Below you’ll find the draft version of my new year’s resolution story.

I was evidently going through a phase of finding silly names utterly hilarious, though the likes of Ed Banger and Ray D. Ator probably wouldn’t have cut it on Wake Up to Wogan.

There’s also proof of a recently-acquired interest in The Goon Show. One of my uncles had a book that reproduced some of the show’s scripts, which I think I must have discovered or been loaned over Christmas. I’m afraid I was, for a time, very taken by the programme’s laboured forays into whimsy and surrealism.

I’ve no idea what my teacher made of the following fiction, which is perhaps just as well.

1987 was the year I ditched joined-up handwriting

Baked bean ending

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