…We started off this morning with a rehearsal of our grand performance due to
open at the National Theatre on 12 July 1999.
Actually it was our class assembly, but it’s well on the way towards having its
We performed it, or maybe showed it if you like, to the rest of the school at 10.30am.
It was based on the theme of Don’t Panic, and there were three sketches:
1) A spelling test
2) At the dentist’s surgery
3) The life of a whoopee cushion and a table.
Edward and I had made a pretend Panic Machine to test how much everybody
panicked when they were played some loud noises, like a dog barking.
Of course everyone panicked even though it was on tape, and even though
we then produced a cuddly dog on a lead.
I think it went all right, and afterwards we all got little Easter eggs for
This afternoon, as it was the last day of term, we watched a film.
Except it was stupid.
It was called Explorers and was about three American kids going up into space.
A bit harsh on Explorers, I think. I’m sure it didn’t merit quite such a low grade.
I make no mention of the Panorama spoof. Perhaps it was dropped. Or maybe I’ve wrongly assigned it to this term’s assembly. It certainly happened in some form, because I remember creating a prop sign with the Panorama logo on, made out of a cereal packet, behind which I hid the cassette player.
Ah well. At least the audience seemed to be satisfied. Then again, with a whoopee cushion, novelty sound effects and a cuddly toy dog by way of entertainment, who could ask for anything more?