…In the afternoon in the playground Adam threw a rounders bat at Luke
who responded by shouting: “Ow, you SOD!”
Everyone laughed, except the teachers…”

There wasn’t a huge amount of cussing at my primary school. A copy of How to be a Complete Bastard was tittered over in the playground. The word “dogshit” always drew a laugh. Someone sticking two fingers up, usually behind someone else’s back, was another dependable winner. But I’m pretty sure nobody dared essay a “fuck” on the premises. And I know for a fact I didn’t hear the word “cunt” uttered at school until autumn 1989.

Most people measure out their early formative years through exposure to relationships or alcohol. I settled for Bond films and swearwords.