…Got back ache again when we had to do woodwork.
I do not see the point of this.
I am never going to be doing woodwork in my life.
I really hate it and it tires me out.
This afternoon I was trying and failing to get people to rehearse for the play,
which we are performing on Friday…

By this point I was not merely the writer and director of this play, I was also the narrator. It had turned into a day-in-the-life concept, complete with audio gags I found hilarious at the age of 11:”…And then dawn broke [cue sound effect of a glass smashing]…”

But it still ended with everyone being blown up, a conclusion I had decided to realise on stage by sequencing a complete blackout followed by an enormous sound effect of an explosion followed by the lights coming up on everyone lying on the floor pretending to be dead.

Cue Merry Christmas Everyone by Shakin’ Stevens. SATIRE!